Relationships…or maybe just mine….are like juice concentrate.
In the beginning, you are so focused on each other. You are the “concentrate”. There is nothing watering down the relationship.
As the relationship progresses, slowly cans of water are added.
- Get married – add water
- Move in together – add water
- Shared finances – add water
- Jointly maintaining a household – add water
- Job issues – add water
- Children – add a BUNCH of water and then add some more
- etc… – add water
Before you know it, the concentrate you once were is watered down, less potent. It’s hard to find the concentrate you once were but you know it’s in there…somewhere.
This is my marriage. We are lost in all of the water, disconnected by it. I don’t know how to find the concentrate anymore. I’m blinded by all of the water.
As for “him”, the beauty or beast of an affair is you generally remain concentrate. You are focused on each other. You aren’t in a position to add any water. However, what would happen if water was added. If I was honest with myself, we would drown.
I don’t think the concentrate my affair was based on was strong enough to withstand too much water. On the other hand, I wonder how much longer my marriage will stay afloat in all that water.