From Spark, to Fire, to Smolder

“One day, whether you
Are 14, 28 or 65

You will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find — they are not always
with whom we spend our lives”

There was a spark deep inside me, dormant, waiting for someone to ignite it. That spark was a deep dark desire of mine that I kept hidden from the world. I knew it was there just waiting for the right person. 

That person came along and ignited a bonfire within my soul, in my mind and in my body. He woke the sleeping giant and freed it…never to be contained again. The fire burned hotter, higher, effortlessly.   That person owned the torch that fueled my desire and needs. I freely gave that control to him. I trusted him not to burn me with it.   That person was my Master.

I played with the fire and got burned. The scars will forever remain. The needs and desires that he freed and then left behind still smolder in my soul. It is a part of me that cannot be completely extinguished.


4 thoughts on “From Spark, to Fire, to Smolder

  1. Never never never give up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I sit and wonder will it be better to be old and not have the memories you have of the good times you had or not? Personally I’m erring on the side of when I’m old I want to look back at my life and smile from ear to ear inside. This man left, but he left you with knowledge about yourself and memories that you had fun creating. It hurts like hell now, but time does things to that…. but do not give up. Ever. On anything, most of all, not on yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a good way to look at this. Would I rather have the memories and the pain or give up both and live with wondering? I don’t think I can answer that right now because I am still open and raw. But….you bring up a very good point. Time will heal and in the end the pain will be less but I’ll still have the memories. At that point, I think I will be thankful for those times with him. Thank you


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