Hard to believe it’s been about 6 weeks since my last post. While I’ve maintained no contact with my x-AP, I’ve also tried to fill the gaping hole he left in less than desirable ways leaving me feeling just as empty. I don’t know why I keep searching outside of my own home/marriage/family…for what I’m not even sure. Perhaps it’s all really just an escape from my life. A life that I don’t feel like I fit into. I often sit on the outside of myself watching the physical self go through the motions of being a wife, mother, professional….yet none of it feels quite right. Yet, it’s exactly the life I yearned for years ago. Perhaps it’s the feeling of failure as a mother and wife that turns my head away in search of something else… Mr. Escape from Reality. When did life become so complicated.