“Why don’t you smile anymore..”

“Why don’t you smile anymore, mommy?

A question my young son asked me this morning.

Because life stole my smile buddy.  I’m not living the life for me.  I’m living the life that has been created around me,  one I don’t I fit in but one I’m trapped in. 

I just looked at him smiled and gave him a big hug before he could see the tears fill my eyes.

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The Creepers

Every once in awhile, those thoughts of what once was creep into my mind and heart. They come with their sharp knives, scissors and hammers and inflict pain on the slowly healing wounds.  

Thoughts are so powerful. They are the driver of how we feel and our daily outlook. It is a struggle every day to see the goodness around me. It is especially hard when the thoughts I’m trying to forget creep in and try to destroy the new seedlings of positive thoughts. 

Losing emotional weight and keeping it off

Over the last 2 months, I’ve lost some emotional weight.  As with body weight, one has to work at keeping off the emotional weight or it can creep back on….unless you are one of those lucky people with a super high “happy” metabolism. You guys are inspiring.

Yesterday I had a rough day. Today didn’t really start off any better. I’m starting to feel the emotional weight coming back on. I’ve worked pretty hard to lose that weight and I don’t want it back.

I’m forcing myself to emotionally workout….
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Living in the present….is a present.

I’ve noticed that when I focus on the present, the past doesn’t haunt me, torment me.  As long as I don’t allow my brain and more importantly my heart to think about everything we’ve (he and I) shared, experienced and went through over that last several years.  It’s in those moments of being in the present where I understand what all the quotes, all the advice mean.  

Living in the present is very freeing.  It is actually a gift, a present. I’m not haunted by the past and I’m not worried about the future. I’m just living the moment.  I’ve seen the sun shine through the gray clouds and that gives me hope that the gray clouds will slowly give way to more sunshine…. in time.