Will he or won’t he?

Last I heard P. was going to be “in town” this week….relatively speaking anyways.  Instead of being 1k miles away he will only be 100 or so miles away.  I think he arrived yesterday but I haven’t heard from him since last week.  

Will he or won’t he contact me while he is near? 

I’ll have an answer in a couple of days and if the answer is no then….I give up. I’m tired of this game.  

The good times we shared are being covered in his bullshit, empty promises and lies. I really don’t want the good times to be replaced with bad memories but…..maybe that’s what needs to happen. 

Who knows what the week ahead will bring…..

The Girl In The Movie

This weekend I was watching a movie.  In the movie was a woman full of life. When she smiled, her face lit up.  Her laughter was contagious. Even in the scenes when she wasn’t smiling, happiness radiated off her. She seemed so confident and carefree.  I want to be her.

The woman in the movie was me.  That movie was a home movie of my husband and I before we were married, before we even moved into together, before we had children…before we were watered down.  A time when we were “Juice Concentrate” .

I watched her, wondering what happened?  Where did she go?  Where did that loving couple go that was in the movie?  How did we go from light to dark?  More importantly can we get that back?

I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  How does any relationship survive the watered down effect of life?  How do you stay strong as a couple when the distractions of children, work, a house threatening to drown the love you once shared?  Can we be saved?

Time will tell….